‘I was indignant. Paul was still teaching; I had to report him’: Sarah Kopp in Queensland, where she went to school. Photographs: Sarah Osborn/The Guardian View image in fullscreen ‘I was indignant. Paul was still teaching; I had to report him’: Sarah Kopp in Queensland, where she went to school. Photographs: Sarah Osborn/The Guardian Experience Life and style Experience: I helped jail the teacher who groomed me At 15, having the cool 31-year-old PE teacher single me out felt thrilling. It took years to see his praise for what it really was
Prefer the Guardian on Google I was 15 when Paul joined my high school in Queensland, Australia, as a PE teacher. He was fun and handsome, and seemed much younger than his 31 years. I was obsessed with dance, and when Paul complimented me on my gymnastics, I was thrilled the “cool” teacher had noticed me.
He’d always stop for a chat. I was the only child of a single mum and though she was there for me, I didn’t confide in her. But he was easy to talk to and I quickly developed a crush.
“You’ve got a muscly bum,” he remarked one day. “I can see it through your shorts.”
I began to wonder if he liked me back. During athletics training he would deliberately step into my path so that I’d collide with him.
Other people were starting to notice Paul’s interest. I denied we were getting close, but rumours kept swirling and he was eventually suspended.
I thought I’d never see him again, but he got someone to pass me his number and asked to meet up. I told Mum I was joining friends and met him at the beach. As we were leaving, he kissed me. It was what I’d been dreaming about, yet it felt wrong. I told myself I just needed to grow up.
One day, I was home sick from school. Knowing Mum was at work, he turned up with chicken soup. At first it seemed romantic, but when Paul started kissing my neck, I froze. My mind drifted away as he led me to the shower. “This is our secret,” he told me.
That was the start of our physical relationship, although we didn’t have sex until I’d turned 16 six months later. By then, Mum knew we were in a relationship. Years later, I asked why she didn’t stop it. She struggles to understand it, but said she didn’t have the confidence to stand up to him and risk alienating me.
Paul found a teaching job in Brisbane and asked me to join him. Mum was desperate not to lose me, so agreed to move, too. When I turned 18, I was relieved to go public as a couple. It was what I’d been waiting for, but neither of us was happy. A year later Paul left and got engaged to someone else, but he was still in contact with me.
I was terrified the police wouldn’t believe me because I’d married my abuser View image in fullscreen When I was 20, he called and told me his relationship was over. Within days we were seeing each other again.
Almost immediately, I got pregnant. I should have felt happy, but I was filled with dread. When Paul proposed – with the same ring he’d given his ex-fiancee – I felt trapped into saying yes. Afterwards, I tiptoed around his bad moods. The only bright spot was the birth of my daughter, when I was 21, followed by my son two years later. I adored being a mum.
Being around other parents for the first time, however, I could see how other relationships worked. They looked nothing like mine. I went to a psychologist, who started talking to me about toxic relationships.
Then I caught Paul talking to another woman, and he moved out. By that time I was 29. Maturity allowed me…